12/28/2015

Son of a Peach

Story Sent in by Callie:

I was out on a first date with Joe at a farmers market. He bought an apple from a vendor and gave it to me. I thanked him and he said, "Eat it now."

I said, "I'm not really hungry, but I'll save it for later."

"Why can't you eat it now? It's just one apple."

"Because I'm not hungry right now."

"Fine. Give it back, then. I'll eat it."

I paused. His tone of voice was pretty frustrated and borderline nasty. I said, "You gave it to me."

"I'm taking it back. I want it."

I slipped it into my purse. "You gave it to me and I'm keeping it. I'll eat it later."

"I want it now. I'm hungry. Give it to me."

"So buy another one."

He spun away, returned to the same vendor, and bought a peach. He came up to me, took a big bite out of it, and said, "I'm eating a peach! I win! You lose!"

I watched him gobble up the peach down to its pit. He then held the pit out to me. "Want this?"

"Why would I want a peach pit?"

"In case you're planning to eat it later. Like the apple you stole from me."

"I... think I'm okay without the peach pit. Thanks."

He threw it out and then actually took my arm, like he was escorting me around. I slipped my arm away and said that I had to go. He looked genuinely confused but didn't argue. Instead, he said, "I figured this would end this way. Have a good one," and then walked off. I went right home and blocked him on the dating site on which we had met.

4 comments:

  1. Chunky Horse eats crab-apples. And souls. Lots of souls...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, abusive new boyfriend, coming right up.

    ReplyDelete

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