10/05/2015

Romance and Junk

Story Sent in by Essie:

I like to dress up for dates, so when Scott arrived at the restaurant in a dress shirt and pajama pants, I felt inclined to point it out.

He said, "I'm out of pants. Would you rather I showed up pants-less?"

"No, but you knew you were seeing me, tonight. You couldn't hang onto a pair of pants for the occasion?"

He explained, "You don't understand: I lost them all due to circumstances beyond my control."

I wasn't interested in whatever "circumstances" he dreamed up, so I dropped the subject and the evening wore on. Over the next several minutes he complained about his roommate and how she wouldn't sleep with him.

I said, "You do realize you're on a date with me, right? Like, now? This very minute?"

He said, "Yeah, but dating's about romance and junk. I just want my roommate for sack-play."

"Uh-huh."

Long, long, long after I decided there wouldn't be a second date, we took a short walk around a park across the street. He kept asking me if I wanted to go to a movie. I said I had to wake up early the next day and couldn't stay out too late. He then gave up on asking me that and asked me if I'd put a hand into his pocket.

At that point I wished him a good night and left. Are guys just not trying anymore or what?

5 comments:

  1. Yeah OP, all guys, everywhere, ever, are not trying anymore. You didn't get the memo?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I see no flaws in that generalization.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whelp, you could opted to not be a masochist and left after calling him out on those screaming red flags. Or just blame every guy in the world instead.

    I know it feels bitchy to just act how you actually feel and shut a date down rather than stay through a whole dinner and then continue the date for a walk afterward but honestly it gets easier with practice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fizzik, where is that last gif from?? I feel like I should recognize it, but it escapes my memory...

    ReplyDelete

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