10/06/2015

Numbers Exodus

Story Sent in by Troy:

Not long at all into my dinner date with Alyssa, she pulled out her phone and texted me a phone number.

"Whose number is this?" I asked her.

"My last ex," she said.

"Why have you texted me your last ex's number?"

"I dunno. In case you want to, like, ask him questions or whatever."

"Questions like what?"

"I don't know! Just questions! Do we have to get into it right now?"

"Get into what? You're the one who texted me an ex's number. Should I text you my ex's number?"

"If you want. I'm sure I'll have some questions, too."

I asked, "Why not just, you know, ask me the questions? Isn't that why we're here?"

She groaned. "Ugh. Fine."

She didn't ask me a single thing, so I spent most of dinner asking her stupid, perfunctory questions and not having any kind of real conversation at all.

When the date was over, she said, "Don't forget to call my ex."

I hadn't planned on it, but she was such a pill that I called him up on my way home.

When I explained the situation to him he said, "Yeah, you should probably just avoid her. That's what I do, nowadays."

Done.

4 comments:

  1. I wonder how she thought the scenario would go down? Did she think her ex would say wonderful things about her? Did she think her ex would rag on her and the new guy wouldn't believe any of it? What was her plan here?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She thought the new guy would challenge her ex to fight to the death.

      Or she was hoping the new guy would help her murder the ex.

      Delete
    2. ^What ladydyani said.

      My take is that she wants her ex to know she's seeing other people then suddenly realize that dumping her was a mistake and to do anything possible to win her back.

      The ex was supposed to tear into OP and scream he wasn't good enough for her, OP was supposed to counter that the ex was a loser, and they would escalate in some bizarre courtship tournament until she ended back in the arms of her ex for life.

      Delete
  2. I was thinking the same thing! To make the ex jealous?

    ReplyDelete

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