10/11/2015

A Dick. I Want My Dog Back.

(Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin in NY at the Steve Jobs screening! What did he say? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Profile Sent in by William:

About me:

I'm a rebel. Really in every sense of the word. Quit high school at 15. Quit college at 17. Quit three jobs in a month at 18. But this doesn't make me a quitter. I know what I want in this life and I pursue it with all of me. Once I quit a dog walking job and let all the dogs go free! The point is that I am an arrow and perhaps you are my target. I like to drive around and look for jobs that will inspire me. Always have art supplies at the ready and I PAINT. I will show you the paintings I have made. The world is indeed the greatest of all canvasii. Together perhaps we will paint it together! What does that make me?

11 comments:

  1. It makes you an idiot. Canvasii? That's...not even close to making sense.
    I'm going to be way too nit-picky here with this rambling nonsense, but how did you go to college when you dropped out of high school? I'm pretty sure all colleges require you to finish. But like I said, nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can get a GED. It's pretty easy and a lot of colleges will accept that and your SATs to get in. And there's community college which I think just requires a heartbeat to get in.

      Delete
    2. Right! So you need to finish one way or another. To me, 'quit' doesn't equal 'finished'.

      Delete
    3. I don't think you can call a GED "finishing." They're embarrassingly easy to get and valued less than a diploma for a reason.

      Delete
  2. Not always the case. I went to college without the benefit of a high school diploma.

    But this guy is useless.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE the title! Well done! This guy may quit the date halfway there, the dick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love that PAINT is in all caps. You just know that it's going to look like a dog painted it. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there is some talent there after all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dafuq did I just click?

      Delete
    2. An old Regretsy stand-by. Sad that site is now defunct but some kindly person posts a tumbler with some of the old posts.

      Delete
  5. I thought this guy was a dick when he said he released the dogs. When I saw "canvasii" I felt a white hot rage develop and now I want to kick something.

    Well done, you dog stealing asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Some people just want to watch the world burn.

    Also, seconding this title as a top-of-all-time!

    ReplyDelete

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