9/10/2015

Hot. Gooey. Apparently Explosive.

Story Sent in by Nathan:

While I was out on a coffee house date with Shannon, she excused herself to go put more sugar in her tea. The condiment station was behind me and it had milk, honey, sugar, and even a microwave.

Moments later there was a loud bang and a scream and every head in the place turned to Shannon at the microwave. She was fanning at it like a crazy person and then she screamed at it again.

A couple of cafe workers ran over and she hugged one of them like she was a drowning sailor being tossed a life preserver.

Turns out, she had put the cafe's honey dispenser into the microwave to heat up the honey. It was made of glass and metal.

I watched as Shannon tore herself away from the cafe worker and left the shop.

I went outside to try and make her feel better and I told her a joke. She just burst into tears and said that she wanted honey. I told her that they probably had more in the cafe and that she probably hadn't used up their entire supply.

"We can't go back in there," she said, "Never, never, never!"

I corrected her, "Sure we can. Accidents happen."

She said, "You're supposed to defend me! If you go back in, I'll never speak to you again!"

I didn't like being spoken to that way. I asked, "You mean it?"

"Yes."

I went back in. Thankfully, she was true to her word.

12 comments:

  1. Too bad, goofy girl and psycho boy would have made an excellent couple.

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  2. I think you made the right move OP. Girls that throw down ultimatums on a first date are a huge red flag.

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  3. I read the title and instantly thought this was going to be a very disgusting date.

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  4. Also, who the fuck doesn't know you can't put metal in the microwave? Idiocracy is coming people.

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  5. As someone who has known not to put metal in the microwave since I was a kid, it still happens once or twice a year when I'm busy or tired.

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  6. And you thought the people in infomercials were just acting.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, but if you can't clean out your ears without hurting yourself, just go ahead and shove that q-tip in there as hard as you can until the light goes out.

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  7. Maybe they should keep the honey in a cute, bear-shaped bottle....

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    Replies
    1. If only there were somewhere to get such a thing....

      Delete
  8. http://youtu.be/EBMaYLrl3mU

    ReplyDelete

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