8/04/2015

Pork and Mindy

Story Sent in by Mindy:

Near where I live, there is a park with benches, tables, and public grills. For our first date, Joel asked me if I wanted to have a little cookout there.

Our first stop was the grocery store. I offered to make guacamole and grabbed the ingredients. I found Joel staring into the meat freezer at the hotdogs. I asked him if he was all right.

He said, "Look at the little packaged penises."

I replied, "I don't think that's what hotdogs are."

"They ground up the whole hog for them. There's definitely some in there." Then he turned to me and asked, "You really want dick meat for lunch?"

"How about we just buy the hotdogs and stop thinking about it?"

"I can't just stop thinking about eating a dick."

I became annoyed and said, "If it helps you feel any better, there are probably pig vaginas in them, too."

He grabbed a package off the shelf a moment later. "Sounds good to me."

At the cookout there were no further such conversations. This was mostly because he was pretty quiet the rest of the time although he mumbled to himself a lot. When he gave me my hotdog he said, "Here are your pork bits."

We didn't go out a second time.

7 comments:

  1. Maybe hamburgers next time?

    You know, I never thought about eating pig dicks or pig vaginas while I was eating a hotdog. Maybe that means I'm a mentally healthy person. Who am I kidding, it just means ignorance is bliss.

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  2. Admittedly, eating a hotdog on a date would give phallic imagery to your fella, but I don't think this guy took it the way it was intended.

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  3. after walking in on my sister's bf I saw that it looks like a hotdog. don't know why men are so proud of their hotdogs. lol :P

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  4. ^ Please god, never let me eat the same hotdogs this chick has been eating.

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  5. This "gentleman" is truly the Duke of Disgusting

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  6. Just don't take him to China to buy any mysterious plants.

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  7. Captain Pedantic sez: fungi are not plants.

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