8/18/2015

Cookie Monster

Story Sent in by Julie:

After dinner with John, he took me to a nearby bakery. He told me that the cookies were really good, and he offered to order me one.

While the cookies did look good, I opted for a slice of coffee cake. John became suddenly quiet and he shoved ahead of me, ordered himself a cookie, and left me to pay for my own coffee cake. I didn't have a problem with paying for my own dessert, although the sudden change in him was jarring.

I asked him, "Everything okay?"

He replied, "Oh yeah! Everything's great! I just told you that the cookies were good and you completely ignored me! I feel wonderful! Everything's great!"

"I wasn't in the mood for a cookie! Jeez!"

"It's okay!" he said in a high-pitched voice that I guessed was supposed to be me, "I'll just ignore John completely! He's just some loser who likes cookies while I'm some prissy little priss-priss who shoves coffee cake into her dick-hole!"

"What?!" I shouted.

He took a big bite out of his cookie and left the bakery, leaving me like I was nothing. To put it nicely, I hope he has his attitude adjusted someday.

5 comments:

  1. I think you were eating that coffee cake wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Controlling asshole says what?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Had a few bad dates, have we, John?

    ReplyDelete
  4. In fairness, Archie, you should see how he toughs out eating an ice cream cone. We know where he expected that to go even if OP thought it was something else.

    I'm feeling for those other patrons when he imitated OP.

    ReplyDelete
  5. !!!!!!!! Fizziks is BACK!!!!!!

    *Falls on the floor convulsing in happiness*

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.