8/24/2015

At Least it Wasn't McDonald's

Story Sent in by Connie:

There was a cafe in town with a beautiful eat-in garden and that's where Kevin took me on our first date. He seemed like a normal guy (if a little reserved) but at one point he asked me, "When do I meet your parents?"

I replied, "I guess at some point. I hadn't really planned for it."

"Because that's the most important step in a relationship. People say it's commitment or marriage but it's really make-or-break on the parents."

I hadn't heard that before so I asked, "How do you figure?"

He said, "If your parents like me enough, they'd even let me sleep in your room and crap on their fine porcelain at the Thanksgiving table, and they'd probably even pay me to do it."

I waited a few moments before asking, "Why would you want to crap on our Thanksgiving table?"

He laughed. "I wouldn't really! In college we invited some girls over to the house for dinner and served them all plates of man-crap, but that was in college. I was just using it as an example for what parents would let a guy do if they like him."

"You served women plates of crap?"

"Sure did!" he licked his lips and smiled broadly. "We told them it was a Sudanese delicacy. None of them ate it. Most of them gagged or puked or went away somewhere."

Oh, Kevin. What a sense of humor. The image of him doing such a thing or even telling that story at the Thanksgiving table was enough to put me off dinner and a second date.

6 comments:

  1. "He seemed like a normal guy." Okay, folks, go for the wackos and maybe you'll strike gold.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I swear this is a set up for a Family Guy clip.....

    Damnit, would you believe a search for "Family Guy Hooker Vomit" didn't turn up a single good .gif?

    This guy's favorite website is College Humor and his favorite trilogy is the Jackass movies. Glad you dodged this bullet OP.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How can you pass up on a dude that classy?

    ReplyDelete
  4. So... Not only did her serve them shit on a plate (did they EAT off those same plates after??), he claimed that it was a Sudanese delicacy? Disgusting, filthy, immature, AND ignorant!
    How could you NOT have jumped right out of those panties, OP?

    ReplyDelete
  5. This fellow is the Duke of Disgusting

    ReplyDelete

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