7/15/2015

Could've Used Them to Scare Roaches

Story Sent in by Alice:

Before my first date with Gerald he wrote me to ask if I owned a bikini. I told him I did and he wrote back to ask me if I'd wear it on our date.

We were going out to dinner so it didn't seem altogether appropriate. I told him that maybe if we had plans to go to the beach, I'd wear it. Otherwise I'd likely stick with something traditional.

At dinner he asked me if I was wearing the bikini under my clothes. I wasn't! Why would he even ask that? He then asked me if I had brought it with me at all and I told him I hadn't.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go bikini shopping after dinner. He even offered to pay for a new swimsuit. I politely turned him down.

Then he asked me if I thought he'd look good in a bikini. I told him I didn't think so and he became upset. He asked me why I didn't think he'd look good, if I thought he was fat, and what he'd have to do to prove to me that he'd rock a bikini. It was all a bit uncomfortable and I did my best to steer the date to a hasty end.

A few days later he wrote me an email to ask if he could send me photos of himself in a bikini. I didn't write back and I'm grateful that he never sent me the supposed photos.

3 comments:

  1. You missed out on those hairy bulldog cheeks hanging out on either side of that hot pink thong. Your loss OP.

    This guy had a serious fetish. You know it's bad if you can't keep it under wraps for at least a few dates. I mean I at least wait a couple of dates before I start trying to lick the sweat from my date's underarm. That's why I'm married to the sweaty Mrs. Architect and this guy is still single. Got to keep that kink under control.

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  2. I can't get the thought of hairy cleavage out of my head. Anyone know a good alcohol to drink away memories?

    ReplyDelete
  3. ^ What is it that makes hairy cleavage so wrong? Same boobs, same shape, same everything but with just a sprinkle of chest hair. Boom, image ruined. Kind of interesting the way the human mind works. Although I'm sure there is a website out there for just this kind of thing. There's always a website.

    ReplyDelete

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