There Was a Next Time?

Story Sent in by Britt:

I was out for pizza on a date with Ben and once we were done he said, "It's grocery store time."

He led me to a nearby supermarket where he hummed this weird tune over and over as he hurried down each aisle, looking for something. "What are you looking for?" I finally asked him.

He didn't answer me at first but finally went up to customer service and asked them, "Do you sell yarn?"

They told him they didn't. As he fretted about it, I asked him, "Why do you need yarn?"

"It's time I told you my secret," he said, "Follow me."

I followed him to the end of an aisle, where they had a display of boxed fruit snacks for kids. He took a box from the very bottom and about half of the displayed boxes collapsed.

One of the employees came over and chased us out. When we were outside, Ben said, "Serves them right for not having yarn. Want pizza?"

I was done with Ben for the night and so I just went home.

The next time I went out with Ben he took me to a local Hibernian lodge and asked them where their sauna was. They told him they didn't have a sauna and so we sat down in the vestibule in the front of the building and read some brochures. Or rather, he read the brochures. I just kind of sat around until I told him I was ready for dinner.

He took me to the same pizza place (was that all he ever ate?) and afterward tried to kiss me goodnight. I gave him my cheek. He tried to kiss me again, and once more I gave him my cheek.

"It's a second date," he reminded me.

"I know," I said.

He was clearly disappointed, but that was all I was giving him. We both went back to our homes and we never went out again.