6/03/2015

qoH

Story Sent in by Lisa:

In college, Charles approached me and asked me out on a date. We went to a local restaurant and after a few exchanges he asked me, "So, you think you're smart, do you?"

I said, "I'm in some honors classes but I don't know if that makes me smart."

He said, "How about now:" and then he spoke very fast in a language that sounded to me like German. In any case I didn't understand a word.

"I don't know what you just said," I confessed.

He laughed and said, "Guess you're not as smart as you think you are!" then he launched into another German(?) tirade.

When he was done, I said, "Sorry. I don't get it."

"There's nothing to get, aside from the fact that you're not as smart as you think you are."

I said, "I never said I was smart. And you don't have to act like a jerk."

Then he pointed at me and said some very agitated-sounding words in that same language.

"Can you speak in English, please?" I asked.

Then he shared a few more choice words that I didn't understand. I was done with him trolling me, though. Time for me to troll him.

I asked, "Holy crap. Are you... are you speaking Klingon?"

He said, "What? You seriously think I'm speaking Klingon?"

I said, "Oh my God. You're like super, grade-A, mega-dork. You're talking to me in Klingon. I can't believe it."

"It isn't Klingon! Klingon's not even a real language!"

"And yet you're the one barking it at me. Do you go to the conventions, too?"

"It isn't Klingon!"

"Whatever, dork. Keep shouting Klingon at me. You realize this makes you the biggest geek in the universe, right?"

"IT ISN'T KLINGON!"

He became so red. It was terrific. I said, "I'm on a date with the biggest dork in the universe."

He stood, made like he was going to say something, shut his mouth, then said, "I can't take this. Enjoy being alone," and left me there, just like that.

I still don't necessarily think I'm smart. But compared to him...

6 comments:

  1. That was great! I never would have thought to do that.

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  2. Eesay ouyay aterlay orkday! What a major ouchebagday!

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  3. @ JMG - Nice title! That's why I like you Jarrrrrrred.

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  4. I have to wonder if this entire date was a trolling setup. He knew you'd never get it and wanted to gloat. Good job fucking with him back, OP.

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  5. I'd say that response makes you pretty dang smart.

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  6. Holna' 'oHbej tlhIngan Hol!

    (Klingon *is too* a real language! -- even if its native speakers are fictional. :) )

    ReplyDelete

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