6/18/2015

Fury Road

Story Sent in by Wayne:

Back when I used to browse dating sites, I found Rachel. She worked in banking and traveled a lot but we pinned down a Friday night to go out for drinks and what-have-you. I picked a bar, we agreed to meet there, and it was a done deal.

I arrived there first and waited for her. She didn't show for a little while and I called her up to ask if everything was okay.

She replied, "Uh... yeah. Where are you?"

I said, "At Wolski's. You on your way?"

She said, "No. You said you'd pick me up."

For the record, I never once told her I'd pick her up. Why would I have? It was a first date. Would I really have asked for her address by that point, unless she told me herself?

I told her, "I never said I'd pick you up, but–"

"Oh, you said you'd pick me up."

"Okay. What's the address?"

She told me her address and I made for it. It was a middle-class house with a one-car garage in the suburbs. Once I arrived, I went up to her front door and rang the bell.

She answered the door in her pajamas. "Can I help you?"

I asked, "Rachel?"

"Yes. You're Wayne?" she asked.

"Yes. You knew we had a date tonight, right?"

"Yeah." And she looked at me like I was a moron who was interrupting her down night.

I said, "So I'm here to pick you up."

She said, "Does it look like I'm ready to go out?"

I said, "You just told me to come here and pick you up!"

She said, "Well if you're gonna be a jerk, forget it!" and she slammed the door shut.

I took a few moments to figure out what to do next. At that time, her garage door opened and she backed out a white sedan down her driveway and into the street. Her tires screeched as she drove away to destination unknown, while (I guessed) still in her pajamas.

I left and went home.

6 comments:

  1. she sounds like she wanted u to come in the house and do pajamas party things with her. too bad. she prolly left to another pajamas party. lol :P

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  2. I hate girls who think pajamas are appropriate date wear.

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  3. I'm surprised she gave her real address. Also, I wish this story would have ended with him driving back to the restaurant and seeing her there waiting for him in her pajamas.

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  4. And speaking of pajamas as date wear: A few years ago i went to a onesie patry wearing a bright purple onesie. It was a work night so i cut out early and a friend of mine was DJing at a bar so I stopped over to hang out for a bit. It's about 11pm and I meet up with this girl and we get to talking and dancing and making out (hey, maybe she had a thing for a guy that shows up at a bar in a purple onesie? IDK) and soon it's 4am and the bar is closing. We go back to her place and have our fun and crash for a few hours. I get up to go to work and realize that the only clothes I have with me are this purple onesie so I've gotta run home before I go to work. Of course as I'm walking home I get a lot of random strangers commenting on my attire, asking what's up with the onesie, etc. At some point I come up with the line "I don't always do the walk of shame, but when I do, I do it in a purple onesie." That got a lot of laughs.

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  5. Maybe this is deja vu but I'm sure I've made this joke before.

    Tourist keeps it real on his walk of shame.

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  6. Well, ya got me. I only have about 5 interesting stories to tell. After that I start repeating myself.

    Well, ya got me. I only have about 5 interesting stories to tell. After that I start repeating myself.

    ReplyDelete

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