4/14/2015

Just Like Greenpeace

Story Sent in by Fiona:

In college, I met Cameron at a party. I gave him my number, we spoke over the phone a few times over the course of a couple of weeks and made plans to meet for coffee before another party a following weekend.

At coffee, he asked me if I was passionate about the environment. I told him I was. He then reached into his bulging pocket and pulled out a crinkled application form and handed it to me.

He said, "It's a form to join my environmental nonprofit group. I think you'd make a great treasurer. It's just like Greenpeace."

I took it and said, "Thanks. I'll check it out."

He said, "You can fill it out now. I'll wait. Shouldn't take longer than 15 minutes."

"I'll fill it out later, but thanks."

He then asked, "What about the homeless? You're passionate about them too, right?"

"I—"

He pulled another wrinkled application out of his pocket and handed it to me. "This one is for my homeless nonprofit. Not as much to fill out as the environmental one. I promise."

I couldn't help but notice that on this new form, right under the space to write my name, in bold letters, it said that the application fee was $500.

I said, "I'm not paying $500 to join a group."

He replied, "Don't worry about that. You can pay in installments."

"I'm not joining. I'm sorry."

He said, "If you promise not to tell anybody, I can give you a slight discount."

"No, thanks."

"Are you homeless, yourself?"

"What? No!"

"So if you pay rent, you should be able to afford this. I don't see what the problem is. If you're going to be selfish, the application fee just raised to $1,000."

I just stared in response.

He said, "Or $2,000. How would you like that?"

"Uh..."

He stood and said, "All right. See you at the party."

He never showed up to the party. And luckily, except occasionally in passing, I never saw him again for the rest of my college career.

3 comments:

  1. Oh man. You just told everybody. I'm so nabbing a discount.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Look on the bright side, OP: if half the stories here are true, you got off easy. At least he wasn't a butt plug salesman. Or trying to push Amway products on you. Or membership into his cult. Or get you to by a new car. I don't know how to link, so you're gonna have to find these stories yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'd have paid him in Monopoly money.

    ReplyDelete

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