4/10/2015

Blockheads

Story Sent in by John:

I thought that my first date with Cassie would be a standard dinner. I arrived at the restaurant first and sat down. When she came in she asked me, "Can you do me a favor? I need help moving something out of my car."

Not expecting manual labor but also fully capable of assistance, I followed her outside. She opened her trunk and inside it was a large block of granite, like something pulled out of a wall.

She was parked on the side of a city street in front of a row of stores. I asked her, "What do you want me to do with this?"

She replied, "Just move it out of my trunk. It's weighing the whole car down."

"Move it... where?"

She groaned. "Out of my trunk. I don't know how to explain it better."

"Yes. But where? Here on the street?"

She said, "Sure. Anywhere but in my trunk."

I said, "I'm not dropping a giant block of granite onto the street." I doubted I could even lift the thing without a hernia. "And are you helping me lift it?"

She said, "No. I'm wearing a dress." What that had to do with it, I don't know. Sometimes, I lift things naked. You have two arms, you can lift.

I tried to lift it and as predicted, it wouldn't budge. I asked her, "How did you get it in here in the first place?"

She said, "I don't know. Can you get it out or not?"

I couldn't. There was just no way. It wasn't a one-person job, and very likely more than a two-person job.

"Sorry," I told her, "We'll need help."

She slammed her trunk closed, said, "Whatever," and headed to the restaurant with me.

She was despondent and aloof throughout dinner. When I asked her what she was doing with a block of granite in her trunk, she said, "I inherited it."

"From whom?"

"A friend who didn't want it anymore. Look: talking about it's just gonna make me mad that it's still in my trunk, so can we talk about something else?"

I changed the subject and she was barely more responsive. We split dinner and never saw each other again.

9 comments:

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  2. ^ I was gonna say exactly that. Beat me to it.

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  3. ^W-what?

    Meanwhile, I don't think I've ever heard of a date that had literal baggage! Bad-dum-tiss!.......I'll go back to bed now.

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  4. she n her friend were mafia, block n river dodged lol :P

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  5. I usually delete spam comments, but then Amber's comment wouldn't make sense anymore, and I can't have that.

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  6. I would love to read one of Papa Young's date stories. It'd be like reading a bunch of those word magnets that fell off the floor.

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  7. What is it with these women who go out on dates to score free labor out of the date?!

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  8. ,^Because they're such shitty people they don't have any actual friends to ask for help.

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  9. this is one where I'd love to hear the other side of the story. Not that I doubt the poster's account. It would just be fascinating to hear the viewpoint of someone who would act this way. I mean, I ask people to help me with things occasionally, but I am more realistic in what I ask and I would also help lift a heavy object. Also, i want to know how this rock got in her car to begin with.

    ReplyDelete

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