4/05/2015

A Goddess Among Us

Profile Sent in by Rene:

About Me:

What can I say? I'm a teacher by day, goddess by night. My students do not know it by I am a ranked member of the elite goddes squad. When we go to the city the men all pay tribute to us and buy us drinks and we have a great time. I never want it to end! But then stupid Monday comes and I have to pretend that i like being with the little kids and having them smear filthy germs and handprints all over me. I feel used and disgusted. But at night I am who I am supposed to be.

Teaching is what I wound up doing because I didn't know what I wanted to do in college and didn't want to become some dumb liberal arts major. I friend of mine was a liberal arts major and she basically scrubs toilets in city parks now. Ahahahahahahahaha! Not me though. I am a goddess of the night.

It is a good time to tell you that I want to find a partner who I can have fun with. Someone who will be into the "real" me. Lots of guys pretend and playthe game but few are who I would call active worshippers. For that you need to really earn it and I am ready to grant you an audience. Donty mistake my kindness for an excuse to make me part my legs. Will NOT happen. Will NEVER happen. I am the goddess. I am the goddess of night.

If you are terrified by this then you are 99% of the men on this site and I have no use for you. You will be eaten alive. For the rare 1%, there is also a 99% of the 1% who will not make it. Sorry. But for the 1% of the 1% (0.1% for the math people) then we will see where the night takes us but only I will lead us there. No tag team specials.

8 comments:

  1. I don't know what I find funnier: the ending to most of her paragraphs or the random "no tag teams".

    The "I am the goddess" thing is funny when you read it in a low gravelly voice. "I am the goddess... I am perfection...I...Am BATMAN"

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  2. 1% of 1% is 0.01%. She may be a goddess, but she knows sod-all about maths.

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  3. I wonder if she swallows men whole with her vagina. That's what a real goddess does.

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  4. "Goddess" = "Whiny b!tch who never takes responsibility for her own choices and who thinks the world owes her for existing."

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  5. What's to bet she's so self-absorbed that she'll blame her lack of biters on being "too much" for most men to handle.

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  6. ^^^^^ Yes, to everything above.

    Also, I'm willing to bet she goes around with a set of fake vampire teeth glued onto her incisors.

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  7. Plot twist: this is Nicholas Cafe's dating profile.

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  8. It scares me to think that this woman is tasked with educating children. Not only is she pissing in the dating pool, she's probably screwing up her students too.

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