3/17/2015

Except for That One Time I Did

Story Sent in by Daniel:

I was out to a nice first date lunch with Barbara when somehow or other we landed on the topic of the first time we had ever slept with someone.

After sharing our stories (which were pretty standard issue) she asked me, "Have you ever done it with something not-a-person?"

"Like Vaseline and some tissues?"

She laughed, "Eww, no. I mean with something not human."

I said, "Like a horse? No. You?"

She then gave me a really serious look and said, "That was really weird. Why did you say 'horse'?"

"Because it was the first animal that popped into my head. Why?" I teased, "Have you done it with a horse?"

She gave me a really dark look, like all of the happiness and good-natured fun had instantly drained out of the conversation. "No, and I don't plan to."

She wouldn't talk to me for the remainder of the meal. I paid for it, she didn't say thank you, and she didn't tell me what bothered her so much. We never spoke again.

7 comments:

  1. Good thing for you OP, you wouldn't want to follow her last few boyfriends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That a picture of your folks, Archie?

    ReplyDelete
  3. @ JMG - Family portrait. My mom even let my sister sit on top of her. She's as strong as a horse.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You should get some cough mixture for the one on the right. He looks a little hoarse.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If he hasn't heard of Chunky Horse, she couldn't adequately explain what she'd been through. After all, Chunky Horse doesn't let people who talk about their sexual escapades together live.

    ReplyDelete

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