2/12/2015

Skank-a-Dank-Dank

Story Sent in by Dave:

Kathy messaged me first online. She said she liked my profile and was in a hurry to meet, so I took her out bowling.

While we sat in the lounge and hung out, she asked me, "Have you ever slept with a man?"

I hadn't to my recollection and I told her so.

Then she asked, "Have you ever slept with anyone?"

"Yes."

"A man?"

"No."

"A woman?" she asked like she wouldn't believe it if I told her I had.

"Yes."

"Oh my God," she said, "Who?"

"Uh... someone from college. I doubt you'd know her."

"Try me."

"Deborah Pfeifer."

"Eww! You slept with Debbie Pfeifer?"

I asked, "You know her?"

"Know her? She's the skankiest ho in the state!"

We were in Missouri. I reminded Kathy, "I went to college in Arizona and Debbie's from Washington."

"You slept with someone from Washington? Ugh. Your standards must be real low."

I sighed. "Clearly they are."

Kathy didn't take the hint. Instead she said, "Washington's the skankiest state in America. I'm surprised at you."

"How low I've sunk," I said, "How are you so well-aware of which states are skanky?"

She said with a straight face, "I make it my business to know all things skanky."

There you have it. We chatted pleasantly a bit longer before calling it an early night. I want to bed skank-less, although the conversation did inspire me to reach out to Debbie, and we still talk.

3 comments:

  1. Eww! You still talk to that skank?!

    Actually, Washington is pretty far down on the list, as we can see here. I mean Missouri is twice as skanky/slutty as Washington. It does, however, warm my heart to see that good old NC, my home state, made it into the top 10.

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  2. Hahaha Architect - where in the Sam Hill do you find this stuff ?!?

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  3. ^ The sad thing is, it's surprisingly easy.

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