2/26/2015

Mud on the Rooftops

Story Sent in by Joe:

I was on a second date with Kristen when she invited me to her apartment. When we arrived I was startled to find hundreds of wet, muddy footprints all over her wooden floors. It looked like an entire schoolyard's worth of kids had just tromped through her place.

"Not again!" she cried out as we surveyed the damage. "Not tonight! Come on!"

I said, "I thought you lived alone."

She said, "I do, but—"

She didn't finish her statement but she looked in every room, nearly slipping on the floor several times.

Finally, when she didn't find who or what she was looking for, she came up to me and said, "Look, you'd better go."

I was not expecting that. I asked, "What happened here? Can I help you clean up?"

"No one can help me," she said, "Have a good night."

I asked her if she was sure and she said she was. So I told her I'd be in touch and I left.

I tried her the next day and left a message, just to make sure everything was okay. She never called me back.

4 comments:

  1. Of all the date trolling stories we've had here, Kristen is my new favorite. With all the effort and self-sabotage needed to cover her floor in muddy foot prints, I only hope she had a hidden camera set up to catch OP's reaction. Never let a good troll go to waste! I'll bet her and her friends laughed their asses off for the rest of the night watching that video over and over again.

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  2. Or maybe she had a case of stampede-of-muddy-shoed-school-children ghosts haunting her place. Much less creepy than strip-you-naked-and-raid-your-fridge ghosts. And much less lame than book-pushing ghosts or dating-site-updating ghosts.

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  3. @ JMG - Since you fake name the dates anyway, you really need to take advantage of that nuance. She should have been named Carol Anne.

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  4. It kind of sounds like the opening scene of a horror movie. Love it.

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