1/30/2015

Score

Story Sent in by Melissa:

I met Leroy at a LAN party. We were both gamers and we were out for blood that night. But he shot a bullet right through my heart, and I fell for him pretty hard.

After hooking up a couple of times, we decided to go on an actual, bona fide date.

We went to dinner and then he brought me to an arcade. He sure knew how to play me. We hit up all the classics: Pac-Man, Mortal Kombat, and more shooters than I can name.

One thing that soon became apparent was that I was way better than he was. At just about everything. He took it in good humor at first, but then clearly became more and more frustrated as the night went on. His smiles stopped and he clearly was no longer having a good time.

It was when he started muttering curses under his breath and looked at me like he was going to tear my head off and pull out my guts through my gaping neck-hole that I decided to let him win the next game of whatever we played.

And let him win I did. He was so relieved that he began to brag about it, nearly offensively so.

"I won! Ha ha! I did it! In your face! In your stupid, ugly face! You stupid ho! I beat you! I totally beat you, you ugly, dumb ho! Yes! Yes!"

"Best out of three?" I challenged.

We played again and I handed him his ass. We played a third time and I handed him even more ass.

He was so angry that he grabbed his shirt collar and made as if to rip it off himself... but he couldn't even do that.

"You okay?" I asked him, calm as a warrior monk in meditation.

He relaxed and said, "I think I'd better go. Have a good day."

It was nighttime, but I thought better of correcting him. He hasn't shown his face at a LAN party since then, and that's probably for the best.

8 comments:

  1. He should have been grateful that you bothered to fake it.

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  2. I'm thinking maybe this was the rebuttal story for that Galaga story....

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  3. ^ LOL, except when I rip my shirts, I get results.

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  4. "One thing that soon became apparent was that I was way better than he was."

    Wow, I think I know how this turned into such a bad date after that line. Get over your sense of entitlement if you want a good date.

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  5. My bf used to bug the beegeezus out of me to play against him. I finally succumbed to the challenge if only to shut him up! He chose mortal combat, which is what I was familiar with from back in the day. I think he won 1 out of 10...ha ha guess who doesn't bug me to play anymore?

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  6. @Miranda - how is it entitlement to say that you're better at a game than someone else? Entitlement would be saying that you *deserve* to be better at a game because [excuse].

    It turned into a bad date because the guy was a sore loser. It wouldn't have mattered if it was video games, mini-golf, or pin the tail on the donkey - sore losers are never fun to play with.

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  7. Og she totally should have lost on purpose so that he could feel like his manhood was intact!

    Seriously? WHY should you change yourself for someone? And I'm not talking about maybe becoming a better person because you want to. Girls (and boys!) should NEVER dumb themselves down to attract someone.

    Also, the line 'We played a third time and I handed him even more ass.' made me laugh. This was a really well-written story!

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