12/17/2014

Soldier Off

Story Sent in by Heather:

Brad was actually personable and responsive in his online messages. There was no mention of military service on his profile, but he showed up to the cafe for our date in full army fatigues anyway. I asked him, "Are you in the military?"

In response he stood up straight, saluted, said, "Ten-hut!" and marched in a circle all the way around the cafe before coming to a stop right in front of me.

I asked him, "So... are you still enlisted?"

In response he again stood erect, saluted, barked, "Ten-hut!" and again marched around the cafe, drawing stares of confusion from all patrons (including myself).

When he stopped in front of me again, I asked him if he wanted to order something. He didn't say anything but sat down and looked over the menu. When we were both ready he signaled a waitress over and we ordered. He didn't speak to me so much as he just stared ahead at nothing. I soon gave up trying to speak to him.

When our food came he wolfed it down and I asked him, jokingly, if this food was better than the army's.

He jumped out of his seat, pulled enough cash out of his pocket to cover the entire tab, slammed it on the table, stood up straight, saluted, said, "Ten-hut!" then marched right out of the cafe without another word.

If he reads this, then thanks for the meal.

4 comments:

  1. Wow, what a bad date. Did he have a stick up his ass or something?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brad has never been on a date before. He heard that all women go ape-shit over a guy in uniform.

    His plan:
    Step 1: Wear uniform
    Step 2: ...
    I know you're waiting for me to make a "Step 3: Profit!" joke but actually he never mentally went past step 1.

    Brad wasn't actually in the military anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ^ FINISH IT! Please....it's like singing a piece of a song and then skipping the chorus!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Obvious dare is obvious.

    ReplyDelete

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