11/02/2014

Strong Bones of the Weak Minded

Story Sent in by Chad:

Anne called me to cancel our date, telling me, "My bones hurt."

"Which bones?" I asked over the phone, "Or all of them?"

"All of them," she explained, "I think I have that bone disease going around."

Guessing that "bone disease" was code for "I'm blowing you off," I decided to bow out gracefully. I wished her well and left it up to her to call me to reschedule.

Less than an hour later she called to ask, "Can you bring me some bone medicine?"

"Bone medicine?"

"Just go to the Walgreens. They have it over-the-counter. They'll know what you're talking about."

Anne lived about 35 minutes away. I wasn't sure if she was serious or not, but she said, "I'll pay you. Just pick some up for me."

I went to a pharmacy and when I asked them for "bone medicine," they looked at me like I was nuts. I called Anne and asked her if she meant calcium supplements, as that was the only thing I could think of that might have been what she meant.

"Anything. Just bone medicine. Now. I'll pay you double."

I bought the calcium supplements and drove to Anne's. There was a rock on her front porch under which was a note and a $20 bill - more than twice what the supplements cost. The note said, "Leave it here."

I took enough money to cover the calcium and my gas and left her the change and the supplements. I rang her bell to let her know that I was there and had dropped off what she wanted, but she never came to the door. So I took off.

While on my way home, she called. And she was mad.

"What the hell?" she asked, "Why didn't you take all the money?"

I said, "I took enough to reimburse myself for the calcium and for some gas. I wasn't going to take all of it."

"I left all of it for you!" she screamed into the phone, "You stupid idiot!" She hung up on me. I couldn't see why she was upset that I was honest. But I soon realized that honestly, she was just nuts.

3 comments:

  1. This person deserves a Chump award.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ^ Agreed!

    "Bone medicine from the pharmacy" = Condoms and a stiff one.
    You should have given her all the "Bone Medicine" she could stand OP.

    ReplyDelete

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