11/12/2014

Son of a Bench

(My notes from last month's Austin Film Festival await you on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Douglas:

We were both so busy that it took about a month to schedule a first date with Cheryl. When we finally had the same evening free, she asked me if we could meet at a particular bench in front of a particular laundromat. It struck me as a strange landmark to choose, but I agreed to meet her there all the same.

I arrived at the bench and she was already there. She stood up to give me a hug and then sat back down. After we spoke for a few minutes, I asked her if she wanted to grab dinner.

"I'm fine right here," she said.

"You aren't hungry?" I asked.

"I am, but I'm staying on this bench."

We talked for a little while longer. Soon, my stomach growled and I was really ready for some dinner.

"No," Cheryl said, a bit sterner, "We're staying on this bench."

"The whole date?" I asked.

"If necessary."

"Why would it be necessary?"

She said, "I like this bench. Stop asking me about it."

I suggested that we at least take a walk and she said no. I ultimately became too hungry to just sit and not eat, so I stood up and told her that I was going to run across the street to a convenience store, so I could at least grab a snack.

She flipped out about that. "Why can't you just stay here with me? What is the problem? What is the problem? Just stay here."

I went across the street for a bag of pretzels. When I returned to the bench, she was gone.

7 comments:

  1. Thank god you got out of that situation OP. I could see it getting pretty out of hand. When she flipped out on you, I'm suprised you didn't just tell her like it was.

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  2. She crapped her pants. Or at least peed in them. Hence, her affection towards the bench.

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  3. You know what kinds of people enjoy benches? Mediocre athletes and the homeless. Bullet dodged.

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  4. Split Screen - or she wanted to be seen with a date by someone who regularly passes by that bench at a certain time. Architect - I tried not to say anything, but that skeleton on the bench is one of my favorite jokes (cobwebs on skeletons who wait) - and it took me all of a fraction of a second to throw my head back and laugh like a sailor when I saw it !

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  5. [Forrest Gump reference goes here]

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