7/24/2014

Remember When Mages Could Shoot Fireballs?

Story Sent in by Marilynn:

At an art gallery cafe, my date Curtis informed me that he was a "fire mage" who could "see into people's minds."

I asked him to prove it. He said that he would tell me three things about myself that I hadn't previously told him. He put his hand to his forehead and said, "Your parents' names are Bill and Stacy." That was true. He then said, "You switched schools in fourth grade." Also true. He then said, "One of your favorite books is The Stars Shine Down by Sidney Sheldon." That was also true. And I truly had no idea how he did it.

"How did you know that?" I asked him.

"I stalked you," he said, "Google and Facebook and this old blog of yours I found. I read it all cover to cover."

He gave me a grin, but I didn't feel like smiling back. He then said, "You have a lot of photos of yourself with other guys up on the web. Not sure what you're trying to tell me there, but if we wind up together, you're done slutting up."

"Slutting up?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! How would you feel if I had a thousand pictures of myself humping other women and rubbed them into your face?"

I said, "I wouldn't like it if you rubbed anything in my face."

"Yes you do," he said, "Remember: I can see into people's minds."

"Then maybe you can't after all."

We both shared a laugh at that. Once lunch was over we went our ways, never to see each other again.

2 comments:

  1. Seriously, stop slutting it up. I've seen those pictures and all I can say is wow, what a whorebag.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Uh...hey, dude, looking the pictures up isn't exactly the same as her "rubbing them in your face". This guy was a creep and a half O.O

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.