7/18/2014

Members Hang Together

Story Sent in by Emma:

I used to live in a city that had a nice, big community garden. I met William while working there one weekend and we spoke for a while. I thought he was cute and we had good chemistry. We stayed in touch and went out on a date.

He took me for ice cream. It was a popular place and we had to wait in line. When we were almost up in front, he turned to me and said in a loud and clear voice, "Are you in the thong club?"

"What?"

He reached into his pants and pulled up on the waistband of his underwear. "The thong club," he said, "Not a lot of guys are. More women are members, so I thought I'd ask."

There was a good number of people around. As he readjusted himself, I told him, "This isn't the time or place, really."

He said, "I'm in the thong club. Not a lot of guys are. Most guys I ask say it would be constricting, but I think it's freeing. As a woman, are you in the thong club?"

I glanced back at the front of the line, hoping that the worker was ready to take my ice cream order. He wasn't, so I instead reread the flavor list above the counter. I said something like, "I can't decide between coffee and cinnamon raisin."

William tapped my shoulder and asked, "So are you in the thong club? Yes or no."

Again I said, "Not the time or place."

I turned back to the flavor list. I heard him murmur, "Because I'm in the thong club," once more.

Thank God, a moment later I was able to place my ice cream order (I went for the cinnamon raisin). When I looked back for William he was gone, never to be seen again.

For the record, that night I actually was in a thong.

4 comments:

  1. At least he wasn't going commando ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank the Universe for small favors.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Commando is way better than a thong with a couple of bulldog cheeks hanging out the sides.

    I'd love to know if this guy was rocking the whale tail and some low rise jeans. Maybe a cute belly ring nestled deeply in his bellybutton hair like a bird in a sweaty little nest. Oh! And a tramp stamp of the lyrics to the Thong Song!

    ReplyDelete
  4. There is certainly no shortage of guys obsessed with underwear, as if talking about their underwear will get the girl all hot and bothered.

    ReplyDelete

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