6/25/2014

Why Guys Insist on Paying

Story Sent in by Mark:

When the time came to pay at dinner, I pulled out my wallet to pay for both of us but Olivia stopped me in my tracks. She offered to pay for the whole thing and said, "Don't worry about it. Really. I'll probably end up owing you even more, soon enough."

Intrigued and a little alarmed, I asked her, "What do you mean?"

She said, "I'll show you once we're done here."

She paid, I thanked her, and we left. She led me to her car and she said, "What do you see?"

It was a silver sedan. Not much else to it. "A silver car," I said.

She then gave me a sultry look and brushed my arm, then said, "Wanna take a ride?"

She drove us a little way out of town, to a dark area I didn't recognize. She parked and said, "We're near Cedar Hill Cemetery. Do you know what happened here?"

I said, "People were buried?"

She said, "Besides that."

"Um... someone was murdered?"

"No."

"Er... it's a popular make-out spot?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "No."

"Then I don't know. Tell me."

She said, "You have to guess."

"I really have no idea."

She said, "Well you have to guess. I paid for dinner, so that's the least you can do."

I said, "That's dumb. We could be here all night while I try to guess."

"Then we'll be here all night."

"Are you serious?"

She turned to me, inserted a dramatic pause for effect, and said, "Dead serious."

We were a long way from my car. She had lured me there under unstated but clearly false pretenses. All I wanted to do was either have some action or go home. Playing a guessing game while trapped wasn't my idea of a good date.

I asked, "Maybe we can at least take a walk?"

She said, "No. You guess or we just wait here."

I looked out the window and pretended to think of the answer while I silently pulled out my phone and texted a friend to come pick me up. I could've walked back to my car, but as I said it was several miles away and I'd rather owe a buddy a solid than trod through the suburban boonies at 10pm.

My friend said he'd swing over and I pretended to keep thinking and I made all kinds of stupid guesses. "A ceiling fan was stolen from here?" "A chicken was made to dance the cha-cha?" "A baby was turned into a tyrannosaurus?" All wrong, each guess. She didn't seem to lose her patience, though. She really wanted me to guess whatever it was had happened there. I even thought that it might've been a poorly-designed come-on and I tried to put the moves on her but she pushed me away.

Finally, my friend pulled up behind us. I jumped out of her car. She yelled, "Hey!" but I wasn't about to explain myself. I made for my friend's car and we took off. I wondered if she'd follow us, and she did for about a block before calling it quits.

I made it back to my car without incident and called it a night.

8 comments:

  1. Some guy's friend didn't make it in time and now he haunts the graveyard wailing 'Where is my junk?!'

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am positive she lost her virginity there. It was a dark and foggy night and as she was passing by, a ghostly figure appeared out of the gloom asking for a ride. He was handsome enough and when the light of the dome lamp in the car hit his skin, it sparkled like diamonds!

    He put the moves on her and they traipsed across the graveyard finally settling on a grassy spot to do it. It was ok. She wasn't very good and he cried afterwards. When she woke up the next morning, she noticed the headstone of the grave they had had sex on. It was his name on it!!!!11!!!1

    She searched around but could not find the mysterious man and she never saw him again. Mostly because he stole her car.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm with you. She totally lost her virginity there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For some reason, right after she said "Dead serious" I could hear in my head a screaming and then The Who playing Don't Get Fooled Again.

    Anyone else?

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Fizziks - That was some of the creepiest shit ever! Almost as bad as that bear that you posted on an older date.

    ReplyDelete
  6. To Fizziks and The Architect ~ *deep bow*

    The stuff of nightmares. (wanders off with a dazed look)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Add another vote to "she lost her virginity there" pile.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.