6/03/2014

She Used to Be Three Smiling Fat Girls?

Story Sent in by Monte:

Monica unexpectedly thrust her high school yearbook at me on our date and told me to turn to page 60. When I did, there was a picture of three smiling fat girls.

"That was me," Monica said proudly, "I used to be fat."

As it stood, Monica was slightly overweight but it didn't bother me that much. I told her, "You look great, now."

She thanked me and took the yearbook back. Still, that didn't stop her from beginning almost every other sentence with, "Since I'm no longer fat" and "When I used to be fat." Even if the subject matter had nothing to do with weight, she found a way to draw attention to it. "Since I'm no longer fat, action movies have really grown on me." "When I used to be fat, I babysat." "Now that I'm not fat, I've been at the same job for five years." "When I used to be fat, I gardened. Now that I'm not fat anymore, I still garden."

I finally asked her, "What does weight have to do with any of this?"

She replied, "Nothing per se, but I just want you to know that I used to be fat and I'm not, anymore."

The poor thing must've been positively tortured about her weight in a prior relationship. Unfortunately, she was just way too damaged from it for me to deal with.

Also, she was still a bit fat.

9 comments:

  1. You know for every night you didn't call her back, she ate a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

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  2. You are mean op, what the hell wrong with you? You didn't need to add that ending.

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  3. OP's a douche with the ending.
    i thought i finally found a story where it felt it came off as genuinely sincere, and then OP had to make that remark.

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  4. Seriously? She kept saying 'when I use to be fat' while continuing to be fat. There's no 'use to be' about it! OP was probably just pointing out the next level of ridiculousness. She sounds delusional....

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  5. "As it stood, Monica was slightly overweight but it didn't bother me that much."
    Obviously she had issues with her weight in the past and was proud of herself. Yes, she went overboard but maybe she sensed (like I did when I read this line) that it actually bothered OP more than he'd admit, which he also proved with that last line.

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  6. So she's fat. Big deal. Oh! yeah.. she's the one making this a big deal. She needs a "Keep Calm and get Jiggy with it" t-shirt.

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  7. At least she wasn't one of those "Healthy At Every Size" people who campaign against what they call "fat shaming." THOSE people are just psychotic.

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  8. At least she wasn't one of those "Healthy At Every Size" people who campaign against what they call "fat shaming." THOSE people are just psychotic.

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  9. That last line was mean-spirited and uncalled-for. The joke is that I'm sure OP is not that great-looking himself. Or else he wouldn't be going out with someone who he thought was "fat".

    ReplyDelete

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