6/30/2014

And Thus He Became Less Boring

Story Sent in by Paula:

Date one and only with Larry started with such promise. Good food, good wine, and mostly decent conversation.

At the end of the date, he walked me back to my car and went for a kiss. I gave him my cheek. He smiled at me like I was an idiot and went in for a kiss again. Again, I gave him my cheek. I had enjoyed my time with him, but he was a little boring and I wasn't liking him enough just yet to share a full-on kiss. Maybe I'm just a prude, but I wasn't feeling it.

Then he stepped away and pulled out his phone. "Your choice," he said, "Kiss me or I call 911."

I didn't reply, but I gave him an in-your-dreams look and stepped into my car. He dialed a number on his phone and I pulled away from there, confident that he was bluffing.

Less than an hour later, two police officers knocked on my door, proving that Larry wasn't bluffing at all. Larry had apparently reported that I had punched him in the face, and he had also given them my license plate number, with which they had tracked me down.

I was enraged at first, but inside my place I calmly gave the cops my statement and they told me not to worry about it, although they wouldn't tell me why. I wasn't sure if they had a prior incidence of this issue with him or if I came across as particularly convincing or if they simply found no evidence to back up Larry's story. Either way, I received no further visits from law enforcement, I didn't find out what (if anything) happened to Larry, and I never heard from him afterward.

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