5/07/2014

Twice Loved

Story Sent in by Rita:

PlentyOfFish brought Russell into my life. He was good-looking and capable of abstract thought, which is a surprising find on that site. In one of his last messages before we met up, he asked me if I liked teddies.

Our conversations had not once broached sexuality. It was with that mindset that I asked him, "As in teddy bears?"

He didn't reply in his email, the last one before our meeting. When we did meet, in a mall food court, he handed me a white box with a bow. I hadn't expected a gift and was flattered, at first.

After we walked around a bit, before we were supposed to go to dinner, we sat down at a fountain and he asked me to open the box. I did. It was a sheer white teddy (the undergarment, not the bear).

I'm not the type to just sit and smile, so I called him on it: "This isn't an appropriate gift for a first date."

To my surprise, he seemed genuinely apologetic. He took it back and said, "I'm so sorry. I meant it as a compliment."

Deciding to believe him, I reassured him that it wasn't a big deal; it was only more of a fourth or fifth date gift, depending on how things went of course.

He asked me, "Want to come with me to return it? I got it right across the street and I don't want to carry it around."

"...okay."

He led me across the street to a thrift store. A thrift store. He had bought me a second-hand teddy!

I waited until we were out of there to spare him embarrassment and then said, "You bought me a used teddy? Are you serious?"

He said, "I figured you'd wash it before wearing it. You seem like a person who'd do that."

I was so grossed out that I made up an excuse before we even made it to dinner and ended the date.

7 comments:

  1. Look, OP, this way you already have bed bugs so it's not a deal-breaker later when he tries to have sex with you on a mountain of trash. Twice.

    (Where the hell is Steve these days?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Explains that crusty area in the crotch portion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve now lives in the well in my basement. He's very busy rubbing lotion on his skin or he gets the hose again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The OP was actually the bad date. This dude seemed genuinely nice and he bought her a gift. Granted, the gift was weird for a first date, but he didn't act like a dick and apologized immediately.

    She sounds like a stuck up person.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Because you'd TOTALLY buy and wear used underwear, right? I hope you are being sarcastic. Because if not, you're a total moron.

    ReplyDelete

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