5/16/2014

Swiss Cheese Man's Origin Story

Story Sent in by Delores:

At dinner, Mark and I discussed the day's news. He told me that there was a trend in Europe of women wearing shirts that had the nipples cut out of them, so that they could bear their nipply bounty to anyone at all.

The visual made me laugh a little, and Mark asked me if I'd ever wear such a shirt. I told him, "Not intentionally."

"What if I wore one?" he asked.

"Then I'd laugh my ass off," I said.

We moved on to other topics. The date went well enough for there to be a second date. Now I know what you're thinking. He's going to show up wearing a shirt with the nipples cut out. Well, you're right. Sort of.

He showed up in an undershirt with five holes in it, all close to each other, as if he had tried and failed on the hole spacing a few times.

He asked me what I thought and as foreseen, I laughed my ass off. But I was very much laughing at him, not with him. But he must have thought I was doing the latter. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him away. I must not have been clear enough because he tried to kiss me again, and again I held him back. My laughter subsided.

He said, "I wore the shirt, like you wanted."

I hadn't wanted him to wear it. It wasn't sexy, if that's what he was going for. We were supposed to go out to dinner, but that shirt was his only top. He didn't even have a light jacket or anything that could go over it. So we went to a fast food place and that was the end.

4 comments:

  1. Title doesn't really match the story.

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  2. Oh, Blue x 2........never change, please.

    I hope since the date continued it was because you treated the crestfallen fellow to a sadburger since his dream date crashed aflame to the ground. Normally I'd be part of the pack howling that you shouldn't have finished the date, and if he paid I still am, but I'm guessing you tried to salve his pride a touch?

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  3. Feel the need to add that, of course you don't owe him (or anyone) the time of day. But it seems you had a nice first date and he just was terribly awkward and misguessed the second time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So you had no intention of dating him any further, you laughed at him, no kisses and you still went to dinner with him? Dinner whore.

    ReplyDelete

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