5/31/2014

King of Blings

Story Sent in by Bridgett:

I used to work in a bookstore and Juan was a regular customer. We had similar tastes in books and always had something to talk about. I had an unspoken rule to not date customers, but when he asked me out for a post-work drink, I didn't see any harm in it. And yes, he was cute.

We hung out in a nearby restaurant's bar for about an hour when he asked me, out of the blue, "Can you see me as the king of everything?"

"No," I replied, "But I don't think anyone's responsible enough to be a king of everything."

"Yeah? Check this out." He reached under his shirt and pulled out a gold chain on which hung an enormous gold pendant of a crown with the words King of Kings.

I wasn't sure what to say about something so gaudy and stupid. I said, "Nice."

"King of kings," he said as if I couldn't read it for myself, "Now what do you say?"

"I say it's nice," I repeated.

He said, "When I'm king of everything, I'm going to end poverty, violence, and racism."

"That'll keep you busy," I said.

"It'll keep others busy," he corrected me, "I'll be too busy ruling. But this is the start of it, right here." He tapped his pendant. "I mean, someone's got to take control of this crazy world. Why shouldn't it be me?"

I said, "So you have the pendant. What's step two?"

He said, "Pendant? Pendants are girls' things."

I pointed to his pendant. "But that's a pendant. Guys can wear pendants."

"No. This isn't a pendant. It's my necklace."

"Suit yourself, king of the everything."

He tried to kiss me after a few drinks, but I evaded his advances and had an early night. He'd still come into the bookstore after that night, but things just weren't the same. After all, how can a simple bookstore worker expect to be taken seriously by the king of everything?

2 comments:

  1. 'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Date me, ye Single Ladies, and despair!'

    ReplyDelete
  2. if i was you op, i would ask juan how he plan on ending everything?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.