4/28/2014

So What Was Their Bedroom Like?

Story Sent in by William:

I browsed the personals section on Craigslist to find a couple with whom to have some fun. Ellen and Jason were married and looking for a third. After some emails back and forth (in which they sounded normal as normal could be) we agreed to meet for dinner at a local Italian restaurant.

When I showed, Jason himself was there but there was no sign of Ellen. Jason was in pajama pants and a zipped-up jacket. I asked him where Ellen was and he said she was in the bathroom.

As we sat and talked, I found it strange that he never took his jacket off. It wasn't a cold day and it was warm inside the restaurant. He and I spoke for a while, but every time I asked him about Ellen, like what the two of them were into, what they liked, and so on, he'd change the subject.

When the waiter came by to take our orders, I asked Jason if we should wait for Ellen (or at least check on her). Jason said not to worry and that she'd order when she came back.

After the waiter left, Jason asked me if I minded if he opened his jacket. I didn't mind and he unzipped it, revealing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. "This might be one of those no-shirt no-service places," he said, "So I might have to zip it back up. If that's all right with you."

It was a bit unsettling, but I supposed I was there for carnal reasons in the first place. I again asked him where Ellen was and he asked me why I was so concerned about her.

I told him that it was because I wanted to meet both of them. He seemed really frustrated at that, then zipped up his jacket and said, "Wait here." He left the table.

A few minutes later, a woman about twice my age came over and sat down in Jason's place. She was more sensibly dressed, in a cardigan and jeans. She introduced herself as Ellen and apologized for being late. I asked her if she had bumped into Jason on her way over and she said that she hadn't. When the food was delivered to the table, she ate everything that Jason had ordered for himself.

I thought it was all some elaborate test or something, but finally Jason returned (with a still-unzipped jacket) and Ellen had a really guilty look on her face. "You ate all my food?" Jason asked, "I can't believe you!"

Ellen apologized but Jason was really upset. He even zipped his jacket back up in apparent protest at his treatment. I asked them both if we should order something new for Jason, to which they both turned to me and said, "No!"

Jason sat next to me and was snippy with Ellen for the rest of our time out together. Ellen and I held the conversation while Jason tried repeatedly to reach into my pants. I was no longer interested in either of them. Ellen kept reaching across the table to rustle my hair, and Jason kept telling her to "Stop it."

Finally, when the check came, they asked me if I'd cover their part of the bill. I refused and we all ended up paying for our own stuff. On our way out, Jason asked me if he could cut off my man-parts and give them to Ellen as a Christmas gift. Ellen kept apologizing to him for eating his food and I ultimately considered myself lucky for making it out of there, man-parts and all.

5 comments:

  1. Don't ever meet up with a couple from Craig's List until you voice-verify with the female. Lots of people can sound normal over e-mail. So now you know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OP: How many red flags does it take before you'll walk out in the middle of a date instead up sticking around until the end?

    ReplyDelete
  3. *instead of

    Sorry, typing while half-asleep.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so glad he stayed. I rather enjoyed this story. Plus no one got hurt and OP had an interesting experience. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is 'craigslist' the new 'people at Walmart'? It seems that way....

    ReplyDelete

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