3/22/2014

Night on Weird Mountain

Story Sent in by Marsha:

On my very first date with Cliff, we were out to dinner when he asked me if I wanted to go out camping with him in the nearby mountains. That very night.

"It'll be fun," he tried to convince me, "I have a tent in my car and bathing suits and changes of clothes and everything."

"You have women's bathing suits? And clothes?" I had to ask.

"It's all your size. I thought of everything," he said, "All that's missing is you."

I wasn't going to ask how he had guessed at my size. It wasn't something we had talked about before. I thanked him but told him that perhaps camping would wait for another time.

"It must be done tonight," he said.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Because I can't promise that I'll still be interested in you after tonight."

"Oh," I said, "I'm going to go, now."

"Fine," he said. I left. Poor guy. Up in the mountains all alone.

5 comments:

  1. "Because I can't promise that I'll still be interested in you after tonight."

    Translation:
    "Because my friends are on the other side of town working on my alibi, and if I don't murder you tonight they'll have gone to all that effort for nothing. Besides, if the human sacrifice isn't done tonight, the window will be closed and the demons will punish me for making them go hungry!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow Ellandra and I thought it had to do with sex or something. Good for you OP for walking away.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have women's bathing suits? And clothes?" I had to ask.

    "Of course! Statistically speaking, at least SOME of my previous victims have to match your size!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Wolf - HAHAHAHA!

    "Poor guy. Up in the mountains all alone." Sharpening his machete and adjusting his hockey mask.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Architect - Come on, don't make it sound
    so unromantic.

    ReplyDelete

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