3/13/2014

God's Gift to Ballroom Noteriety

Story Sent in by Roberto:

On my date with Ann at a sidewalk cafe, she talked about balls. "Can I just say how weird balls are?" she asked.

"You've seen a lot of them?" I asked.

She took slight exception to that. "It's not like I'm just throwing myself out there every night, but I've seen enough of them to know that they're all funny looking."

I joked, "Mine aren't."

Her smile dropped. I guess that was the wrong thing to say, because she then said, "Uh... TMI. I have no plans to see yours, and I don't ever want to see yours. Are we clear?"

I hadn't meant to imply anything. I thought we were just kidding around. But then she said, "If you're going to force them on me against my will, then I will mess you up. My father and all of his brothers and sisters are police lieutenants in the police squad."

She didn't mention which police squad, but at that point, I was more afraid of her sudden insanity than her fictional police squad relatives.

To drive the point home, she continued, "And my mother and her sisters are all lawyers. With the lawyers' group."

Odd that she said that, because she had written in her profile that she had a knack for gardening like her landscaper mother.

"Which lawyers' group?" I asked.

"Okay, you know what?" Ann said, standing up, "It was really good to meet you but I have a thing. Right now." She extended her hand as if to shake, but when I reached for it, she took it away and backed off. "Yeah, you just stay sitting right there," she said under her breath, and then she left before I even had a chance to show her my balls.

4 comments:

  1. So THIS is what one of those dates sounds like from the other side! I always wondered.

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  2. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking....

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  3. Soccer balls? Tennis balls? Big hairy audacious balls? I'm confused.

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  4. I have quite the lady boner for Sigourney Weaver so I like a gentleman to have large balls and a huge scrotum that way when we are 69ing I can pretend I'm battling a face hugger alien.

    ReplyDelete

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