2/21/2014

Something so Silly

Story Sent in by Lyle:

I was introduced to Rhonda at a party. We hit it off and I asked her out a few days later.

We were outside on a stroll and had been talking for a while when she said, "I'm surprised you asked me out," she confessed, "I haven't been asked on a date in almost two years."

I found that hard to believe. She was cute, smart, and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her that I could see. She said, "It's just that nobody's wanted me."

I said, hoping to score a few points, "Maybe you unknowingly intimidated them. You're bright and very pretty."

"No! Nobody's wanted me! Were you even listening?" she asked in a nasty tone.

I was taken aback, but I didn't want to argue over something so silly. I said, "Okay. I was just trying to say something nice."

"So you agree? That nobody's wanted me?"

Again, taken aback. "I—I—I don't really know."

"But you just said 'okay,' so clearly you agree with me. I don't believe this! You agree that nobody's wanted me!"

I was beginning to see why nobody wanted her. I said, "I think that anyone who wouldn't want you would be crazy." I was just trying to pacify her.

"So everyone in the world is crazy, you're saying? Because everyone in the world doesn't want me. Is that what you're saying? That everyone who doesn't want me is crazy?"

"Sure."

"So you're saying my mommy and daddy and sisters are all crazy? Because they don't want me. But you just called everyone who doesn't want me crazy, so are you insulting my family? I don't believe this!"

"You'd want your parents and sisters to want you?"

"Sicko!" she said.

"Hey," I said, "I have to go."

"Fine. Go," she said.

I wished her a quick goodbye and took my leave.

She called me late that night and left a voicemail to say that she had a nice time but didn't think things would work out between us. Worked for me. I didn't want her.

5 comments:

  1. The inside of her brain must be like a sack full of cats.

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  2. She probably just wasn't putting out enough...

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  3. EVS has been known to make people cranky and irritable.

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  4. This would have been the perfect time for a session of improv's "yes and" rule. It wouldn't fix the situation, but it would be 10x more fun. Girl: "So you agree? That nobody's wanted me?" You: "Obviously, and not only does no one want you but they are secretly conspiring to keep you single via facebook gossip and Fox News"

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  5. A sack full of cats ! Love it - first loud laugh of the day - thanks!

    ReplyDelete

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