2/25/2014

Blowing Smoke

(Flaws are awesome. Find out why on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Christopher:

Cindy's profile, I'm almost positive, had her down as a non-smoker. So when we were out on our first date and she pulled out a cigarette and asked me if I had a light, I told her that I didn't smoke.

"Why not?" she asked, "They're not really bad. It's all a conspiracy. You know that, right? In the fifties, they were all about how healthy they were, but then suddenly they became bad for you with no reason."

"Science?" I suggested.

She took a long drag and said, "Don't buy that."

I said, "What about all those people with those larynx voice boxes and all the people who died from smoking?"

Again, she said, "Don't buy it. Do you believe everything they tell you in kids' cartoons, too? There have been university studies, hundreds of them, that prove no link."

"Which studies?" I asked, genuinely curious.

She pulled out a cigarette and held it out to me. "C'mon, kid. Live a little."

I thanked her but refused. She called me a "sheep" under her breath and that was our only date.

8 comments:

  1. I also came across her profile on OKC. After checking out her pics, I can see why you went out with her.

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  2. Also, science...fuck that noise, amirite?

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  3. You're darn right Archy. God made the world yesterday and implanted our memories & photos and that irritating noise science to test our faith.
    Everyone knows smoking produces clouds and that's what heaven is made of Christopher you godless bitch.
    I just want to attach a strap on to my forehead and do Cindy rhino style.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your loss. Women who smoke are much more promiscuous.

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  5. ^ And I think that's what we all want out of life, a promiscuous smoker with a raging case of herpagonasyphilaids. Oh yeah!

    @ Try - LMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What I want to know is what the heck is a sheep? besides the animal.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheeple

    ReplyDelete
  8. and this: http://xkcd.com/610/

    ReplyDelete

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