2/07/2014

And Now the Pole Can't Walk

Story Sent in by Kathleen:

At our first date dinner, Glenn brought a little compact mirror along with him. He looked in it about every five seconds. He adjusted his hair, his eyelashes, but especially his nose. The guy spent more time looking in the mirror than at me. He also kept sniffing, like he was viciously snorting back some serious mucus. He kept on touching his nose and looking at it.

I had to ask him what the deal was with his nose. He said that he had been in a fight over the last weekend and that he was checking to make sure it was still working right.

He was quick to reassure me about what a tough guy he was, though. He told me, "You should see the other guy."

I asked him what he did to the "other guy." Glenn said that the "other guy" couldn't walk anymore. I asked Glenn what the fight was about, and Glenn said it was over a woman.

After that charming tale we had a fast dinner and said goodnight. He tried for a kiss but I gave him my cheek.

A few months later, one of my girlfriends ended up on a date with Glenn (we used the same dating site). She told me he did the same exact thing with the mirror and his nose, but he told her that he had walked into a pole.

5 comments:

  1. Coke fiend. Deviated septum.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Grotesque plastic surgery. Nose parasite.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I especially like the title/punchline

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aww, I already used the perfect nose- related gif :(

    That'll teach me to blow my load on oddly specific internet weirdness. Unlike our double-n Glenn, here, who like totally won that fight.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a feeling that for you op, he was trying to play the sympathy card, and see if it got him any, when he found out it didn't he thought he try a different approach with your friend hoping he get lucky. lol

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.