1/23/2014

Talkin' Snack

Story Sent in by Ryan:

At a good friend's costume party, I met Lois. She was dressed as a goth butterfly, and looked really hot. I was dressed as a clothes dryer with real spinning action. It was an awkward first conversation but it ended with me landing her number.

For our first date I took her to a great independent coffee shop that we both liked. She ordered a pot of tea, and they delivered it to the table in a red earthenware teapot. She asked the server if she could have it instead served in a blue teapot.

"The blue one's my favorite," she explained to me. Seemed like a little thing, but I mentally called it endearing and let it be.

When the tea was served in its blue teapot, Lois said, "Do you bring all your dates here?"

I had brought a few dates there in the past and I told her, "Sometimes. It's a nice place."

Lois said, "I want to be different from them. Let's go someplace else after we're done here."

Okay. I took her on a walk down a road close to a nearby university. She asked me, "Have you ever taken any prior dates on a walk down this street?"

I lied, "I don't remember. I don't think so."

"Are you lying? You'd better not be lying."

We walked through the university campus and made it through to a part of town I hadn't visited in a while. There was a pastry shop and I took her in there, as she had eyed the cupcakes in the window.

As I paid for a couple of cupcakes, she asked me, "Have you taken your dates here before?"

"No."

She then asked the cashier, "Has he? Do you recognize him? Has he been here before with a date?"

The cashier, who I had never seen before, said, "I don't think so."

"You don't think so?" Lois asked, then shook her head around and swung her fists in every direction. I stepped back, startled.

Once she was done with her odd display, she stared at me in muted fury and stomped over to the store's front window. She stared out of it and I brought her her cupcake.

She stuffed the cupcake into her mouth and moaned as she did so. Once she consumed the whole thing, she said to me, "You need to learn to treat women better."

I said, "I treat women fine. You're just a little screwball."

She muttered an expletive under her breath, but surprisingly she stayed with me as I finished my cupcake and then, when we left the store, she actually hugged me goodnight. We didn't go out again, though.

4 comments:

  1. She must have been really hot...You could have used a different word than screwball. What a guy will put up with for a crazy hot girl...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like she was sippin' on some Sizzurps...

    He put up with a lot, all for a chance at some ill-freaky Goth butterfly na-na.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Lois said, "I want to be different from them. Let's go someplace else after we're done here.""

    So I took Lois into a dark wood and sacrificed her to Chunky Horse.

    ReplyDelete
  4. op, you should have asked her where peter?

    ReplyDelete

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