1/27/2014

Scentsless

Story Sent in by Joseph:

I sat in the restaurant, waiting for Jennifer. When she showed, she was upset. She said that someone had stuck a dead fish through her car window and that it had stunk up her whole vehicle. Once she mentioned it, I did detect a faint smell of rotting fish about her. It wasn't too pronounced and aside from that we had a good enough dinner together.

It wasn't until she opened her purse towards the end of the meal that I was socked with the full-on scent of rotted, vomity fish smell. It made me gag and cough. She apologized and closed her purse, then said, "I wrapped the fish in tissue paper and put it in here."

Through my coughs, I asked, "Why?"

She said, "For fingerprints or whatever. In case I have to bring it to the cops to find out who left it in my car. Don't worry, I mean, I'm going to completely fumigate my purse after all this."

That ruined the date. I just couldn't think of her anymore as associated with anything other than that awful stench. Once we were done at dinner, we went our separate ways and I went home to fumigate myself.

10 comments:

  1. Hahahaha!!! What a total idiot. Even if she was the girl of your dreams, I wouldn't blame you one bit for not contacting her again. Just, wow.

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  2. Time until someone makes a "I bet it wasn't her car/purse that smelled like rotten tuna" comment in 3....2....1....

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  3. "I went home to fumigate myself."

    Lordy. I bet there was a lot of self-fumigation that night.

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  4. Is that the real Nikki I see and some other person named Clair? WELCOME BACK! Also, thanks for taking the fun out of my Tuna joke!

    I'll go with my back up...Someone made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

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  5. The illustrious Nikki returns! I have heart palpitations I'm so excited. :) What hijinks await us if the gang is all together?

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  6. What I want to know is why she didn't bring the fish to cops before the date? That way her purse doesn't smell.

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  7. Clair is the armadillo! Welcome back, Nikki!!!

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  8. For fingerprints or whatever. In case I have to bring it to the cops to find out who left it in my car.

    Unfortunately, the cop turned out to be vegan and Jennifer was prosecuted on charges of fish-murder and fish-necrophilia. The charges should have been easy to beat, but she floundered for words on the witness stand.

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  9. That was an okay fish pun, wolf. Cod have been better though.

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  10. ^ He knew it was bad, but he did it on porpoise.

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