1/21/2014

Love, Evolved

Story Sent in by Rob:

I met Maggie out at a pub during a mutual friend's birthday party. We spoke for quite a while and I liked learning about her. Well, until she asked:

"Do you believe in evolution?"

I did, as it turned out. "Yes."

She laughed like I had said something stupid. "Then prove to me that it's valid!"

I lacked the tools at the ready to do so, but I countered with, "Can you prove it isn't?"

She nodded and pointed at herself with both hands.

I asked, "You? You're proof that evolution isn't real?"

She said, "Clearly. Do you really think I came out of an ape's ass?"

I said, "I don't think that's how evolution works."

"Fine, professor. Tell me how it works."

"Uh... it has less to do with asses and more to do with new features being added... over time..."

"Nothing's being added to my features. I'm perfect the way I am." The way she said it made me believe, very strongly, that she meant for it to be taken seriously. "I know I'm a catch," she finished.

"A catch who doesn't know how evolution works."

She dismissed me with a hand gesture and went up to the bar for another drink. She then joined another conversation.

8 comments:

  1. "She then joined another conversation." One with fewer brain cells.

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  2. Um, I'm pretty sure Chunky Horse didn't come out of an ape's ass, either. So, the joke's on OP.

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  3. smart one op. i don't like people who think they are smart about a subject and have no evidence to back it up

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  4. Humans are classified in the sub-group of primates known as the Great Apes. But everyone knows that so what is really going on here is Maggie was just acting dumb hoping the clueless OP would take advantage of the situation and vigorously cure her EVS. Nope, he was more interested is showing off his remedial knowledge of evolution, beginners knowledge of getting laid and his enthusiasm for masturbation.

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  5. Seriously Try you should write a self help book. It would fly off the shelves. Also, may the Creator bless you all.

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  6. First of all, this wasn't a date. This was a conversation you had with a girl you met at a party.
    Second of all, you don't seem to understand how evolution works either. Or possibly you're just horrendously bad at communicating.

    Either way, I think it's best that OP never attempt to become a teacher.

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  7. "Do you really think I came out of an ape's ass?"

    Seldom is one lobbed an easy softball like this to knock out of the park... but you, OP, totally missed it. Come back to us when you lose your invertebrate qualities and evolve enough backbone to be capable of telling cute girls that they're idiots.

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  8. Mmk I am not normally mean but pompous ass much, Rick?

    ReplyDelete

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