1/13/2014

Eat All the Things

Story Sent in by John:

Paula was an average-sized, soft-spoken young woman who I took out on a single date. We were out to dinner together and when the waiter came by to take our orders, she put her menu down and said, with a straight face, "One of everything, please."

The waiter, like me, must have believed that she had said something else. He asked her, "One... what? I'm sorry?"

She said, "One of everything in the menu."

The waiter and I both stared at her. I suggested, "How about the rigatoni? It's homemade, here."

She groaned like I had missed a cue and said, "Nothing for me, then."

I had a delicious dinner. She watched me eat the whole time while all she had was water. And spite.

10 comments:

  1. Mmmmmmm, spite. You know if you put a little grenadine in that, it makes a great Shirley Temple.

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  2. Nowadays I hear that kids are calling Shirley Temples "Darth Vaders." Because nothing says Dark Lord of the Sith like a complimentary paper umbrella.

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  3. Ultimate dinner whore or is this a troll? Had she gone through her plan (he would have to pay of course) she'd have dinner for WEEKS, with only one night of whorish behavior.

    That being said, OP, denying her this is no way to cure her EVS

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  4. The clueless OP did not read the obvious signals from the hungry Spermivore. He should have quickly finished his meal then vigorously cure her EVS and Empty Stomach Syndrome.

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  5. OP, you should have just said to the waiter "Oh, in that case, separate checks." I mean, obviously she was a Dinner Whore, but this way she would have had to explicitly spell that out in front of everybody.

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  6. How did she expect to get all that food home? It's a restaurant, not a grocery store.

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  7. All Hail, Queen of the Dinner Whores!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Her royal highness the queen. Oh by the way y'all it's my birthday. Maybe I shoulda made Joshua take me out to dinner since he is from around these parts. I think.... anyway....

    ReplyDelete

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