1/29/2014

Basketcase Ball

Story Sent in by Timothy:

This happened the summer before my freshman year at college. I was out with Brenda. When we happened upon a basketball court on the evening of our first date, she gave me a happy look and ran for it. I was close behind. When we were in the middle of the deserted court, she asked me, "Wanna play?"

I wouldn't have minded, but I didn't have a basketball with me. She said, "Doesn't matter. We can pretend. Heads up!"

She ducked past me and pretended to dribble a basketball. I was up for it, and so I went after her and, amazingly, she made shot after shot after shot. Each time I tried to "take the ball" from her, she said, "Too slow!" or "Nice try!" She was really hogging it.

Finally, I pretended to grab the ball from her. I "dribbled" it down the court towards the other basket.

"No!" she screamed, "No! You don't have it! You don't have it!"

I made a shot and pretended it went in. I thrust up my arms in victory.

Brenda was apoplectic. "You didn't have the ball!" she yelled, "You didn't have the ball!"

I told her to relax, that I was just playing around. She then threw her hands in my direction repeatedly.

"I'm throwing the ball in your stupid face!" she said, then stormed away.

I hurried to placate her. With enough apologetic words, she ended up out to dinner with me. But that was the last time I asked her out to do anything.

9 comments:

  1. I thought most guys loved their woman to be a ball hog?

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  2. Good thing you managed to convince her to let you buy her dinner.

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  3. obviously she used to have basketball skills but when people took the ball from her she would scream the way she did with op, you don't have it! no!!! and then they kicked her off the team. she just try to relive her glory basketball days

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  4. I think Blue Blue is on to something here.

    Also: Insert joke about women's basketball players "playing for the other team" here.

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  5. Forget the bears, don't feed the Dinner Whores!

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  6. Agreed Steve. Seriously why do y'all enjoy treating beeoches so kindly? A fat nice nice like me wants a free meal now and again. OP you annoy me. I am sorry for being bitter... insert something funny here...

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  7. I hurried to placate her. With enough apologetic words, she ended up out to dinner with me.

    Did you grovel? It's important to grovel properly when you are being a spineless pussy. Too many people think it's just about being weak and showing no backbone, but they totally neglect their fundamental groveling basics.

    But that was the last time I asked her out to do anything.

    The last time SHE agreed to go out with YOU, you mean. See, this is why it's important not to neglect your groveling!

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  8. Wolf you bring smiles to my face and laughter to my throat. ;)

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  9. As long as it's just smiles and laughter. My girlfriend does terrifying martial arts so it would be highly inadvisable for me to bring anything else to the face/throat party. ;-)

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