1/16/2014

As Good a Time as Any

Story Sent in by Charles:

I was somehow or other brave enough to approach Lauren and strike up a conversation with her in a coffee shop. She turned out to be really cool and we spoke for a while. She gave me her number, and a few days later I called her and asked her out to dinner. We arranged to meet at a local Italian place.

She arrived there before I did. When I saw her sitting down, I approached her and she stood up. At first I thought she was standing to greet me, but she gave me a horrified look and backed away then made for the restroom.

I thought that perhaps she was having a major bowel event, but when she didn't come back I tried texting her and finally knocked on the bathroom door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Charles," I replied. "Everything okay?"

After a long pause, she said, "Oh! Yeah. I'm just trying to pee standing up. Guys do it all the time so I thought that tonight would be as good a time as any to try it."

I tried to make sense of this for a few moments until she said, "You should probably call it a night, huh?"

I couldn't agree more. I left the restaurant and I didn't return to that coffee shop again for well over a year, as I didn't want to encounter her again.

5 comments:

  1. As a women's equal rights advocate, I applaud her efforts to pee standing up. Get it, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did that coffee shop also sell alcohol or drugs? Because you were clearly a C.H.U.D. and she didn't remember what you looked like until the moment you showed up for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. She had second thoughts and came up with an excuse to get out of the date.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hafta disagree with everyone but Steve. Clearly this standing-up move was a come-on. If I didn't get a response outta that I would have called it a night, too.

    Also, @Labiashade, I should get one of those.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm trying to figure out what could justify just a strange reaction and rapid about-face.

    Probably what the OP didn't realize was that his barn door was wide open and his soldier was "standing at attention." At least, that's my best guess as to something that could make women recalibrate their interest so dramatically. (Don't ask me how I know.)

    ReplyDelete

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