12/05/2013

Unleashed

Story Sent in by Henry:

Out on our first date, Deanna asked me what pets I had when I was younger. I told her that I grew up with dogs, cats, and even a pet salamander. Then I asked her with what pets (if any) she had grown up.

She shot me a dirty look and said, "My family didn't have pets. Keeping animals against their will is inhumane."

I laughed at her. "I think the animals would've rather been with us than out on the street."

"Did you ask them?" she demanded, "Otherwise how do you know? An animal's place is the natural world."

I was incredulous. "So you're saying that we should've just let them go?"

"Yeah!" she said like I was stupid, without offering anything further to back up her own stupid case. Then she went on, "How do I know you won't treat me like one of your pets?"

Throwing in the towel, I said, "I'll break out the peanut butter. You'll love it."

"What?" she asked. She didn't get it.

I changed the subject and she was pretty sane for the rest of the conversation, but that's all the dating we ever did.

8 comments:

  1. Well, J, that's a crazy and disgusting story that you posted about. Dang... But at any rate, how are you doing, beautiful man? Also, OP, you used the word incredulous, and that's hot. ;)

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  2. I asked my cat if she wanted me to put her on the street. You know what she said? "I'm so lucky to have found you!!!1!!!! Our completely normal obsessive relationship is the best EVAH!!!11!!!!!!11!!!" So yeah, she wants to be with me.

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  3. Damn, I've fallen for that peanut butter trick on many dates. Thanks for the heads up.

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  4. Someone did dump my cat out on her own in the middle of nowhere. She found me while I was out deer hunting and climbed in my coat and begged me to take her home with me. If she could talk, she'd tell Deanna what to do with her opinion.

    ReplyDelete

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