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12/17/2013

Leeches for Free

Story Sent in by Archie:

I was at a nearby state park with Denise on our second date during the dog days of summer. She kicked off her shoes and socks and waded knee-deep into the water. She emerged with a few leeches on her legs.

She screamed and shook and flailed. I told her to calm down so I could help, but she smashed her legs against nearby tree trunks and tore off down the paved path, leaving her shoes and socks behind. I grabbed them and hurried after her.

I didn't find her back at the main entrance, though her car was still there. I looked around and around and I called for her, but there was simply no sign of her anywhere. I waited around a bit and finally went home.

She called me a couple of hours later to say that she had found someone to help her remove the leeches and also to say that she was furious at me for leaving her there.

I reminded her that she ran away from me after I had tried to help her. She said that I should've run faster and tried harder. I hung up on her because she was being stupid. She called me back a few minutes later. I picked up because I felt bad, but she shouted verbatim an encyclopedia article about leeches at me.

When she wouldn't let me put in a word, I hung up on her again. She called me back, I let it go to voicemail, and she left a screaming message with the rest of the encyclopedia entry she was reading. On one hand, I learned a lot about leeches that day. On the other, I also learned that a relationship with Denise wouldn't be right for me. So I guess it all worked out.

5 comments:

Yeah OP, she would have eventually bled you dry. Blood sucking bullet dodged.

At least SOMETHING got sucked on this date...

The ability to avoid dying or going insane when bitten by leeches... EVOLUTION IN ACTION.

(Seriously, this trait hasn't been eliminated from the gene pool yet?)

Millions of leeches, leeches for me, millions of leeches, leeches for free.

This all sounds like a clever ruse to steal women's socks and shoes. I think the OP is a closeted fetishist.

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