12/07/2013

Better to be Beard than Loved

Story Sent in by Eric:

Back in my mid-twenties, I sported a fine beard. On my first date with Gail, it kept her riveted. I can't really blame her, as it was an amazing beard.

"Normally I hate guys with beards," she informed me, "But yours is really nice."

I was proud of it. It was reddish-brown and unimpeachably groomed. She then asked, "Can I touch it? My hands are clean."

We had been eating pizza. Her hands were anything but. Still, I couldn't refuse a girl with beard-lust, so I let her dip her hand into my scraggly adornment.

What happened next changed everything.

She yanked on it three times, each time shouting, "Gimmie!"

We knocked into my soda and it smashed onto the table and all over the rest of the pizza. She jumped back, apparently amazed at physics. It was funny, so I laughed. She apologized over and over ("I was trying to be funny!" etc.) and you know something? I liked her enough for a second date. Sadly though, she never responded to my message.

I did, however, send her my beard when I shaved it off.

6 comments:

  1. If by "beard" you mean "pubes," then I had the EXACT same date once!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had a boyfriend in high school who shaved his head and gave me a bag of his hair on Valentines Day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are you SURE it was his head-hair, Kate?

    ReplyDelete
  4. holy crap, i lol'd SO hard at that last line! well played, sir. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. that explains the other "date" on here that perfectly matches this one from the female side. What are the chances?

    ReplyDelete
  6. that explains the other "date" on here that perfectly matches this one from the female side. What are the chances?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.