11/18/2013

He Chose... Poorly

Story Sent in by Claire:

Sean took me out to a barbecue place with an outdoor deck and a live band. While the band was playing and after we were served our drinks, he handed me a flask.

I asked him what it was and he refused to tell me any specifics, only saying that he had "brewed it" himself, especially for me.

As it could've been anything from Everclear to toilet water to blood, I wasn't drinking it. What really convinced me that I had made the right choice was when he dipped a fingertip into it and it came out bright arterial red.

"Whoa," he said, "It shouldn't be that color."

Then, he drank it. He was okay for a few minutes, then bolted to the bathroom, where he spent the rest of the date. I checked on him periodically but everyone started dancing and I joined in.

By the time I checked up on him a final time, he was gone but there was a terrible odor in the bathroom.

It was long after he had disappeared and I had gone home when he texted me: "Tell me where you live and I'll drop off the rest of my good drink." I think I was much better off not trying it, thank you.

5 comments:

  1. Awww, OP, way to not take one for the team! We have to live without knowing just because you didn't want to risk grievous bodily harm.

    At this point, all the regulars here have a phobia of handmade goods. We're the people backing away from the tray of cookies at the office, the ones examining the picnic salads for bandages and dog hair, the one that don't care how damn good your spiced nuts are because we know they are coated in semen.

    Or should be. But how could I maintain my svelte 800 lbs frame if I turned down everything with a dodgy provenance?

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  2. I'm a little like the OP in that I like to judge the odor in the bathroom after my date has been in there.

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  3. I must admit, this guy at least is attempting to be creative about how he roofies his dates!

    (OP: Smart move not trying it.)

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  4. Yeah, smart choice not taking the mysterious drink.

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  5. Remember the golden rule of ABCotD: "If a date hands you a mystery drink, odds are it contains semen."

    What really convinced me that I had made the right choice was when he dipped a fingertip into it and it came out bright arterial red.

    "Whoa," he said, "It shouldn't be that color."


    I rest my case.

    ReplyDelete

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