11/16/2013

Cowboys II Men

Story Sent in by Michelle:

Jeffrey appeared on our first date sporting a a cowboy hat and boots. This date happened in Rhode Island, by the way. He was nice and had a bewitching smile, but still, it was a little hard to make it over his outfit.

I wasn't going to say anything (who was I to judge? I had worn lavender eyeshadow with every outfit until I was 30) but I ultimately succumbed to curiosity and asked him what was with the get-up.

He said, "I have to get outta town tonight. Hit the highways. In some trouble, y'see."

Thinking he was playing around, I played along. "What'd you do, partner?" I asked.

He said, "Stole some BB guns from two kids. They were too young to have 'em, so I took 'em to keep 'em safe. Now their parents are screaming at me and one set's already called the cops."

I didn't really believe him until we took a walk after dinner and he showed me two BB guns under a towel in the backseat of his car. "Seriously," he said, "They're not mine. The kids were misusing them and would've hurt themselves if I didn't take them away. Their parents were irresponsible, but the law doesn't see it that way. So I'm skipping town."

He then turned to me and said, "You wanna come with me? You and me and the starry sky."

I said, "I don't think so, partner. And I think a real cowboy would take responsibility for his actions instead of running away."

He said, "A real cowboy protects others, even those who are too stupid to think they need protecting. Are you one of those varmints?"

Without waiting for an answer, he stepped into my face, like he was going for a kiss, but he then jerked his head back away, hustled to the driver's side of his car, and drove away into the night, under the starry sky and away from the long arm of the law.

5 comments:

  1. How does a girl from Rhode Island know what a "real" cowboy would do? From watching Gene Autry movies? Cowboys also killed injuns, robbed banks, and smushed prostitutes on a regular basis...

    Team cowboy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are real living cowboys in my family. They're too busy doing their own backbreaking work every day and taking care of their own families, to worry about being Nanny to every kid on the street.

    And quite frankly, if a kid came up to them with a BB gun, they'd have taken a few minutes and taught the kid how to use it safely, not stolen it away. I know my aunt loves showing pictures of my uncle (her husband) teaching kids at the shooting range behind their house.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No way, your uncle is your aunt's husband? Weirdo.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "...he stepped into my face, like he was going for a kiss, but he then jerked his head back away..." This one's for you, OP!

    I saw the police APB on this guy. They even got a photo of him before he took off for the open road. You can clearly see the two BB guns in the background.

    ReplyDelete

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