10/08/2013

Tart for Tart's Sake

Story Sent in by Bob:

Kim worked in a bakery as an assistant manager. We had been on one date already when she invited me to her bakery after-hours. She promised to make me something delicious. As I waited in the darkened cafe area, she went to work making what turned out to be a tart.

She served it to me on a nice plate. It looked good on the outside, and she watched me as I took my first bite. It tasted like a fistful of flour. It was so dry on the inside that I choked. I coughed and coughed, and instead of grabbing some water or doing something helpful, Kim said, "No need for dramatics. I know it's not that bad," and she then bit into it herself.

Then the real comedy started. She spat it out in a cloud of dust and crumbs, grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby display, and drank it down, not bothering to offer me a sip. I followed suit and grabbed a bottle from the display, but before I could open it, Kim grabbed it herself and tried to tear it away from me.

"Let go!" she yelled, as if her life depended on me not taking a drink. Sadly for her, sanity proved the stronger and I ripped the bottle away, opened it, and drank down enough to save my life.

Once I was done, she said, "You pay for that. Now."

I gave her $2 for the water and left that uncomfortable situation on the spot.

5 comments:

  1. At least you didn't get a mouthful of yeast...

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  2. She should have given you her doughnut instead. You could have made it a cream filled!

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  3. If I was you op, I would report her sorry ass to the manager and tell him/her that you nearly died and that all she did was stare at you.

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  4. This date has genuine slapstick! So much fun.

    In the spirit of ruining things, the tart reminded me of one of my favorite literary lines, from Henrich Böll's The Clown:"...[M]y heart sinks as if I were condemned to eat a whole sack of flour with a spoon."

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  5. Cheap, psycho, talentless baker...Awesome! :S

    ReplyDelete

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