10/10/2013

Endship

Story Sent in by Jack:

I was out at a friendly sidewalk restaurant with Julia. It was our first date and I was really excited to get to know her better.

Not long after we had placed our orders, she asked me why I had asked her out to begin with.

I went the complimentary route, telling her that she was fun and intelligent and that I really looked forward to talking with her, which was absolutely true.

She then asked why I really asked her out. The way she said it made it sound like she suspected me of some dark, ulterior motive. I told her that nothing could be further from the truth.

She then said, out of left field, "So it has nothing to do with Michelle?"

I had no idea who Michelle was. Julia then said that Michelle was her friend who everyone apparently thought was hot. I told Julia that I didn't even know that she had a friend named Michelle, much less that she was considered hot.

"Sure," Julia said, "Every guy says that, then every guy falls all over himself for her. We should just end this now, since I know how it'll end."

Before I could reply, she yelled, "Check please!" to no one in particular. When the check didn't come fast enough for her, she simply stood up and left.

The food was delivered to my table, and so I had a date with myself.

10 comments:

  1. You should have gotten Michelle's number! Sounds like she was way hotter than your C.H.U.D. of a date.

    Also, a date with yourself sounds pretty lame. I picture a single man eating a microwave dinner over the sink in his underwear, then watching 3 hours of Game of Thrones before furiously masturbating and passing out in front of your computer. Actually, I take that back. That sounds like an awesome evening! Now, how many episodes of Game of Thrones do I have DVRed.....

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  2. I hope all the regular commenters died or something, because otherwise, this is just sad. Does everyone else have better things to do than troll this site? I really don't see how that could be possible.

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  3. I haven't visited this site in months. Good to see there's still quality.

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  4. Everyone else is busy with their perfect relationships to come here with the losers who suck at dating,

    Me? I've been watching seasons of Glee on Netflix,

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  5. I'm excited to see a story that matches the premise of a How I Met Your Mother episode, which means that he better meet Michelle. She is his future wife

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  6. Sorry I'm so late commenting, I was enjoying a number 4 with Michelle.

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  7. It seems Julia just skimmed the chapter "The Other Girl" in the book "Dating For Psychopaths." What she was supposed to do was talk up "Michelle" all night long and then at the end of the date say "Guess what? I have a Secret! There is no Michelle! I made her up!" and then sit there grinning like an idiot. They're getting lazy - we can't even count on the psychopaths to be good psychopaths anymore.

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  8. Having a "date with yourself" is an unfortunate turn of phrase, especially since this story is posted directly below the one about the guy who talks about his dates with "Ms. Palm" and her "Kleenex skirt."

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  9. Kinda feel sorry for her a little...She is obviously very insecure but the leaving quickly because the check was not coming fast enough left me to think that she is just really F'd up ;).

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