Story Sent in by Miriam:

When Jason first messaged me, one of his questions was who my favorite basketball team was. I told him that I wasn't into basketball, though if I had to pick, it would be my hometown Seattle Sonics. His next email included a dazzling array of statistics about the Sonics, none of which I cared about. He was otherwise nice and personable, and we eventually set up a date.

He insisted on challenging me to a one-on-one basketball game in a local elementary school's court. I wasn't really feeling it, but thought at least it would be a good workout and possibly a good way to learn more about him.

He warned me at first, "I'm not gonna go easy on you," and he didn't. He beat me easily. I had worked up a sweat and wanted to at least shower and change before we did anything else. I proposed parting ways temporarily and meeting up later on.

He said, "I won the game so I set the rules: I say since I won, you have to shower with me."

I laughed that idea away, but he persisted. "I won! I won! You have to do what I say. I won! I won!"

Over and over I turned him down. He finally gave up, saying, "Fine! I'll go shower by myself! See how you like that!" and he stomped off in a huff.

I liked it just fine. I didn't expect to see or hear from him again, so I was a bit surprised when he left a message on my voicemail less than an hour later to tell me that he was done with his shower and wanted to know when we were meeting again.

We didn't.


  1. Uh, yeah, let's meet up at quarter after never. Thanks, that'd be great.

  2. Ah, the eau de douche of someone treating you like a video game level to be beaten rather than someone to connect to. I'm sure this ends up in first date shower sex for him all the time.

  3. I won! I won!


    P.S. - Basketball is stupid.

  4. The only thing missing here is outing the guilty and a tracking app so we can mock these losers perpetually.

  5. ^ Hey, JMG, can you get on that? The ABCotD Trolling app would be awesome!

  6. Meh. Whatever. We all know there is only one way to win at basketball anyway.


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